Thursday, April 29, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tennis Today
Was playing tennis at SAFRA Tampines today. When I spotted two guys going into the next court. They were decked out: Carrying Babolat Tennis Bags, wearing this crimson red sleeveless shirt with two Adidas wrist bands (so long they reach up to the elbows) and the racquets they had were obviously those 300++ (probably more) Babolat racquets. Babolat is a very famous non-mainstream tennis brand, like wilson but specific to tennis, used by players like nadal.
And before they started, they looked like they were warming up, and talking about kicking each other's asses. All in, they looked like serious tennis pros. Like they could have kicked me and my tennis buddy's collective asses with one stroke of their racquet.
And when he serves he bends all the way down, tosses the ball all the way up, and he LEAPS into the air and hits the ball, like how those professional tennis players do it on tv.
However, this served as a reminder that LOOKS ARE DECEIVING!
When he hits the ball, it connected in the same way a baby gal hits the doll with her pillow. Absolutely no strength whatsoever, no control, and no skill. He didn't how to serve at all. When he did connect with the ball, it either hits OUT of the opposing tennis court (NOT just outside the serving box), or hits the net... and his rallies are so long, you can't count to 2 before it's over. Every 10 mins they stop to take a "well-deserved" break.
Apparently we met one of those "SO LONG AS I DRESS WELL AT MY SPORT, I CAN PLAY WELL" types. You've seen those: Wear those headbands, and the compression wear tights and runs with a heart-rate monitor, a GPS watch, a visor, oakley Radar sunglasses, and those bluetooth wireless headphones connected to their iPhone. and running slower than a grandma walking backwards, on her hands!
(btw, I just described myself, so i'm not like holier-than-thou)
But it's really hilarious to the passer-bys, that one can pretend that money can substitute true skill, ability and talent. Not at all, it just shows how good Nike or Adidas' advertising dollars are. And without a mirror, you'll never see the clown those apparel make you look like.
Should have taken a picture! Rats!
And before they started, they looked like they were warming up, and talking about kicking each other's asses. All in, they looked like serious tennis pros. Like they could have kicked me and my tennis buddy's collective asses with one stroke of their racquet.
And when he serves he bends all the way down, tosses the ball all the way up, and he LEAPS into the air and hits the ball, like how those professional tennis players do it on tv.
However, this served as a reminder that LOOKS ARE DECEIVING!
When he hits the ball, it connected in the same way a baby gal hits the doll with her pillow. Absolutely no strength whatsoever, no control, and no skill. He didn't how to serve at all. When he did connect with the ball, it either hits OUT of the opposing tennis court (NOT just outside the serving box), or hits the net... and his rallies are so long, you can't count to 2 before it's over. Every 10 mins they stop to take a "well-deserved" break.
Apparently we met one of those "SO LONG AS I DRESS WELL AT MY SPORT, I CAN PLAY WELL" types. You've seen those: Wear those headbands, and the compression wear tights and runs with a heart-rate monitor, a GPS watch, a visor, oakley Radar sunglasses, and those bluetooth wireless headphones connected to their iPhone. and running slower than a grandma walking backwards, on her hands!
(btw, I just described myself, so i'm not like holier-than-thou)
But it's really hilarious to the passer-bys, that one can pretend that money can substitute true skill, ability and talent. Not at all, it just shows how good Nike or Adidas' advertising dollars are. And without a mirror, you'll never see the clown those apparel make you look like.
Should have taken a picture! Rats!
Interesting chat...
Had a chat with an old friend today over msn. She's one of my old pals from UIUC, and we used to work closely on our ECE projects last time. She's now working for a big graphics card company (Go figure) in California, and there since graduation in 05. Wow, that's 5 years already.
Anyway was asking why she was still single and not living up the good life in sunny cali. Apparently, the people who tried asking her out have not been very "interesting", either very nerdy (Silicon valley, what other types of guys are there), or doesn't seem very reliable. To top it off, she gets ask out by two methods, both of which I consider quite grotesque: 1) Facebook message, or 2) Email!
I guess the forms of asking a girl out changes with technology. From writing letters and posting it out via snail mail, to the phone, fax, SMS, email and now FB. Feels kind of sad, doesn't it. Whatever happened to the face-to-face, take-it-like-a-man asking a girl out part? Probably due to the fear of rejection. Even worse among the nerd herds who may not have a complete social life during their educational years.
But I guess I'm more interested in the "interesting" part. What makes a guy "interesting" in this era? Difficult for it to be the job, right? "Hi, I work from 8 am to 8 pm in the backoffice of a major multi-national, and ensure that figures from A tabulate with figures from B." Not everybody is Tony Stark, you know, donning iron suit and going around killing bad guys AND smoozing with the ladies at night.
Hobbies? I don't skydive, and I cannot fathom that ever happening to me. I have NEVER taken a roller-coaster that loops upside down, and the last time I was at six flags, I was quite spooked out on the carousel. The CAROUSEL!
Oh well, I guess I don't have to be "interesting" to everybody. So long as I'm satisfied with who I am, and what I do, I should be happy. And that means, NEVER SKY-DIVING, NEVER ROLLER-COASTERING, AND NO TO BUNGEE JUMPING AND THE ILK TOO! Will stick to watching fish, and playing tennis! That's me!
Anyway was asking why she was still single and not living up the good life in sunny cali. Apparently, the people who tried asking her out have not been very "interesting", either very nerdy (Silicon valley, what other types of guys are there), or doesn't seem very reliable. To top it off, she gets ask out by two methods, both of which I consider quite grotesque: 1) Facebook message, or 2) Email!
I guess the forms of asking a girl out changes with technology. From writing letters and posting it out via snail mail, to the phone, fax, SMS, email and now FB. Feels kind of sad, doesn't it. Whatever happened to the face-to-face, take-it-like-a-man asking a girl out part? Probably due to the fear of rejection. Even worse among the nerd herds who may not have a complete social life during their educational years.
But I guess I'm more interested in the "interesting" part. What makes a guy "interesting" in this era? Difficult for it to be the job, right? "Hi, I work from 8 am to 8 pm in the backoffice of a major multi-national, and ensure that figures from A tabulate with figures from B." Not everybody is Tony Stark, you know, donning iron suit and going around killing bad guys AND smoozing with the ladies at night.
Hobbies? I don't skydive, and I cannot fathom that ever happening to me. I have NEVER taken a roller-coaster that loops upside down, and the last time I was at six flags, I was quite spooked out on the carousel. The CAROUSEL!
Oh well, I guess I don't have to be "interesting" to everybody. So long as I'm satisfied with who I am, and what I do, I should be happy. And that means, NEVER SKY-DIVING, NEVER ROLLER-COASTERING, AND NO TO BUNGEE JUMPING AND THE ILK TOO! Will stick to watching fish, and playing tennis! That's me!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My Last Night in Japan
My English teacher always said it was bad to summarise before starting the paper. This is not a summary, it's more of an overview of my trip. Not going into the nitty-gritty of all my mis-adventures, but rather the things I've learnt about myself throughout the course of the journey...
It was, and still is, a journey of self-discovery. The best way to know oneself, is to start with knowing what you are not. This is done by interacting with others, to learn how others are, and how you respond to others. It's also to interact with new cultures, new practices, methods, and discover hidden parallels that you never knew existed, latent energies and capabilities that, for lack of an occasion, never manifested.
Some of the things I now realise about myself are trivial, others profound. However, it forms a complete 360-degree representation of me, at least me in my current state, that will help determine who I am in the future.
1) A diver
Two aspects of the trip I enjoyed the most: Osaka Aquarium and the Marine Dive Expo at Sunshine City (Ikebukuro in Tokyo). I have definitely been a fish out of water since my last dive trip to Sipadan in December, and I was just fascinated and bewildered by the Aquarium. Granted, I've already seen the Whale Sharks, Mola-molas, and sharks in my previous dive trips, but frankly, the stuff Mother Nature has created is vastly superior to anything man-made. Not castles, not skyscrapers, not throngs and throngs of people crossing a busy intersection in Shinjuku. The simple movements and life of marine animals are more pleasing to the eye, are more restful to the mind, and more settling to the heart than thousands of years of cultural growth, at least to me. The Expo reminded me of an aspect I have neglected, for lack of time and ability to plan ahead, within myself. I AM the most happy when I am diving; every other time is a surface interval.
2) Adaptable
When I first arrived, i screwed up on the first major thing I did: I took the wrong train. Yes, it was headed to Ueno, yes it was on the same platform as what the train conductor said, but it was the wrong time. Japan is a country run on its train schedules: meticulous, unerring, and process-driven. And I paid for my mistake: another 1000 yen. A valuable learning experience, to be sure. Nothing makes me learn faster than when I make a mistake. In other words, I learn the fastest when I am the most willing to be wrong.
My Japanese, thrown aside for a decade, came slamming back to me. Here and there, bits and pieces of Japanese phrases, characters and concepts flowed back into consciousness while adding new ones. I forced myself to recognise all the Kanji characters so that train maps made sense even without English translations. After making a few errors in train station exits, I learnt the tough way how to ensure that I was on the right exit before I leave the station. That probably saved me a ton of time and effort scrambling around the confusing labyrinth passages that surrounded every major station. At the end, I became fluent with the subways system (with its competing and complementary train services) for Tokyo and Osaka, my two main base of operations, probably better than any of my other friends travelling in Japan.
3) Financially prudent
It took me interactions with my friend in Tokyo, as well as her friends who came to visit to realise the kind of financial person that I am. As much of a techie-geek that I am, in the never-ending search to build the best home theater system for my room, I have always balked at spending the insane amount of $ on the state-of-the-art, cutting edge stuff like Bose speakers. I was blown away by the uber ultimate bachelorette pad she has created for herself, her penchant to spend on such extravagance without fully understanding its capabilities is beyond me. I'm not judging her at all, rather it serves to reinforce the kind of person that I am, or at least the financial standing. Another incident was when I met her room-mate's friends. They were the true-blue tai-tais, and were discussing whether 20,000 was sufficient for the next day of premium outlet shopping. My friend (and I) automatically assumed it was 20,000 yen (S$300), but they were referring to S$20,000 instead. Our base point of reference was so completely off it got a little awkward then.
Even if I had a hundred million dollars, I would think twice about spending such money. I truly believe in Value-For-Money, and I will always have in mind a set (and modest) budget for discretionary purchases. I'm so far off the bar from my friend (and the room-mate's tai-tai friends), but I know something. I want to reach their level of financial standing, but not their level of extravagance. This sight has shown me how big the world is, and how far I am from the top, and it has fueled my passion and hunger to gun for it, a passion that has waned and died in the preceding years being throttled in Singapore's civil service.
4) Willing to break barriers
Entering a hot spring full of naked men was definitely an, for lack of a better term, eye-popping experience. I know inherently I will never feel completely relaxed in such an environment, but I have learnt to appreciate it, while minimising the associated awkwardness. Onsen was an interesting experience, and it helps the body relax while washing in the minerals that the hot spring water provides, almost intoxicating like a drug. Though I was initially very very reluctant to try it, I'm glad I went ahead with it (with the encouragement of my friends, of course, who incidentally added to the awkwardness of seeing friends naked and chatting nude in the hot spring).
Another aspect that I've learnt was that I am willing to open up myself and show my inadequacies. In Japan, by myself, I was always lost, always in a foreign area in a foreign language. I've put down my pride, and basically asked anyone and everyone for directions, for assistance, for guidance. The best way to learn by yourself is by making mistakes, but the fastest way to learn is by admitting your lack and approaching others. So what if they only understood Japanese and your only phrase was "eigo ga wakadimasu ka?" (Do you understand Japanese). It doesn't matter. Communications is more than just words. It is action, it is situational, and most of the communication is unspoken. But it does start with opening the mouth. I sincerely hope that I will reinforce this trait back in office, and ask when I don't understand, and admit when I'm lost in a discussion.
5) Independent, and co-dependence
It was an unplanned, un-coordinated, spontaneous trip. By myself. I know realise that I can do this easily. In fact, I almost thrived on traveling by myself. There's no commitment needed, there's no waiting, there's no disappointment in others, no blame, no consensus building. It's just me, myself, and moi. I didn't need to do all the major sight-seeing places; sitting at a cafe, or lying on the grass in the meiji-koen, was holiday enough. Didn't need to make sure my time was out all day and all night to fully utilize my holiday: It was meant as a trip to find myself, and I didn't need to climb the highest mountain, cross the deepest gorge to do so. I just needed to get away from the daily grind to see above the fray. And I did. Even if that meant that I needed to be on my guard constantly 24/7, with heightened senses and awareness. It WAS tiring, but I know I can do it.
On the flip side, when I met my friends, I was happy too, coz I could let down my guard and relax and enjoy their company, as much as I enjoy my solitude. This trip was wonderful as I could perfectly balance my need for company and my need to be solo.
6) Self-discipline
Finally, the last aspect. This part of me, I learnt from all my nightly conversations with a dear friend online. I have set out all the things I want to achieve, but I have been lacking the self-discipline necessary to do so. Instead procrastination comes so easily and so frequently, as well as the tendency to absolve myself of blame when I fail, citing situations, acts of Gods, etc. But she showed me that the missing link was from within, and that once I create that self-discipline within myself, I can achieve all that I want, and more. This is probably the most essential and most important part of me that I treasure from this trip, and I am truly grateful to her for showing me the way. The fight is mine and mine alone, but you have shown me how to fight. Thank you.
I'm so glad that I made this trip. It was truly amazing and awakening. I am happy. Now I can go home.
It was, and still is, a journey of self-discovery. The best way to know oneself, is to start with knowing what you are not. This is done by interacting with others, to learn how others are, and how you respond to others. It's also to interact with new cultures, new practices, methods, and discover hidden parallels that you never knew existed, latent energies and capabilities that, for lack of an occasion, never manifested.
Some of the things I now realise about myself are trivial, others profound. However, it forms a complete 360-degree representation of me, at least me in my current state, that will help determine who I am in the future.
1) A diver
Two aspects of the trip I enjoyed the most: Osaka Aquarium and the Marine Dive Expo at Sunshine City (Ikebukuro in Tokyo). I have definitely been a fish out of water since my last dive trip to Sipadan in December, and I was just fascinated and bewildered by the Aquarium. Granted, I've already seen the Whale Sharks, Mola-molas, and sharks in my previous dive trips, but frankly, the stuff Mother Nature has created is vastly superior to anything man-made. Not castles, not skyscrapers, not throngs and throngs of people crossing a busy intersection in Shinjuku. The simple movements and life of marine animals are more pleasing to the eye, are more restful to the mind, and more settling to the heart than thousands of years of cultural growth, at least to me. The Expo reminded me of an aspect I have neglected, for lack of time and ability to plan ahead, within myself. I AM the most happy when I am diving; every other time is a surface interval.
2) Adaptable
When I first arrived, i screwed up on the first major thing I did: I took the wrong train. Yes, it was headed to Ueno, yes it was on the same platform as what the train conductor said, but it was the wrong time. Japan is a country run on its train schedules: meticulous, unerring, and process-driven. And I paid for my mistake: another 1000 yen. A valuable learning experience, to be sure. Nothing makes me learn faster than when I make a mistake. In other words, I learn the fastest when I am the most willing to be wrong.
My Japanese, thrown aside for a decade, came slamming back to me. Here and there, bits and pieces of Japanese phrases, characters and concepts flowed back into consciousness while adding new ones. I forced myself to recognise all the Kanji characters so that train maps made sense even without English translations. After making a few errors in train station exits, I learnt the tough way how to ensure that I was on the right exit before I leave the station. That probably saved me a ton of time and effort scrambling around the confusing labyrinth passages that surrounded every major station. At the end, I became fluent with the subways system (with its competing and complementary train services) for Tokyo and Osaka, my two main base of operations, probably better than any of my other friends travelling in Japan.
3) Financially prudent
It took me interactions with my friend in Tokyo, as well as her friends who came to visit to realise the kind of financial person that I am. As much of a techie-geek that I am, in the never-ending search to build the best home theater system for my room, I have always balked at spending the insane amount of $ on the state-of-the-art, cutting edge stuff like Bose speakers. I was blown away by the uber ultimate bachelorette pad she has created for herself, her penchant to spend on such extravagance without fully understanding its capabilities is beyond me. I'm not judging her at all, rather it serves to reinforce the kind of person that I am, or at least the financial standing. Another incident was when I met her room-mate's friends. They were the true-blue tai-tais, and were discussing whether 20,000 was sufficient for the next day of premium outlet shopping. My friend (and I) automatically assumed it was 20,000 yen (S$300), but they were referring to S$20,000 instead. Our base point of reference was so completely off it got a little awkward then.
Even if I had a hundred million dollars, I would think twice about spending such money. I truly believe in Value-For-Money, and I will always have in mind a set (and modest) budget for discretionary purchases. I'm so far off the bar from my friend (and the room-mate's tai-tai friends), but I know something. I want to reach their level of financial standing, but not their level of extravagance. This sight has shown me how big the world is, and how far I am from the top, and it has fueled my passion and hunger to gun for it, a passion that has waned and died in the preceding years being throttled in Singapore's civil service.
4) Willing to break barriers
Entering a hot spring full of naked men was definitely an, for lack of a better term, eye-popping experience. I know inherently I will never feel completely relaxed in such an environment, but I have learnt to appreciate it, while minimising the associated awkwardness. Onsen was an interesting experience, and it helps the body relax while washing in the minerals that the hot spring water provides, almost intoxicating like a drug. Though I was initially very very reluctant to try it, I'm glad I went ahead with it (with the encouragement of my friends, of course, who incidentally added to the awkwardness of seeing friends naked and chatting nude in the hot spring).
Another aspect that I've learnt was that I am willing to open up myself and show my inadequacies. In Japan, by myself, I was always lost, always in a foreign area in a foreign language. I've put down my pride, and basically asked anyone and everyone for directions, for assistance, for guidance. The best way to learn by yourself is by making mistakes, but the fastest way to learn is by admitting your lack and approaching others. So what if they only understood Japanese and your only phrase was "eigo ga wakadimasu ka?" (Do you understand Japanese). It doesn't matter. Communications is more than just words. It is action, it is situational, and most of the communication is unspoken. But it does start with opening the mouth. I sincerely hope that I will reinforce this trait back in office, and ask when I don't understand, and admit when I'm lost in a discussion.
5) Independent, and co-dependence
It was an unplanned, un-coordinated, spontaneous trip. By myself. I know realise that I can do this easily. In fact, I almost thrived on traveling by myself. There's no commitment needed, there's no waiting, there's no disappointment in others, no blame, no consensus building. It's just me, myself, and moi. I didn't need to do all the major sight-seeing places; sitting at a cafe, or lying on the grass in the meiji-koen, was holiday enough. Didn't need to make sure my time was out all day and all night to fully utilize my holiday: It was meant as a trip to find myself, and I didn't need to climb the highest mountain, cross the deepest gorge to do so. I just needed to get away from the daily grind to see above the fray. And I did. Even if that meant that I needed to be on my guard constantly 24/7, with heightened senses and awareness. It WAS tiring, but I know I can do it.
On the flip side, when I met my friends, I was happy too, coz I could let down my guard and relax and enjoy their company, as much as I enjoy my solitude. This trip was wonderful as I could perfectly balance my need for company and my need to be solo.
6) Self-discipline
Finally, the last aspect. This part of me, I learnt from all my nightly conversations with a dear friend online. I have set out all the things I want to achieve, but I have been lacking the self-discipline necessary to do so. Instead procrastination comes so easily and so frequently, as well as the tendency to absolve myself of blame when I fail, citing situations, acts of Gods, etc. But she showed me that the missing link was from within, and that once I create that self-discipline within myself, I can achieve all that I want, and more. This is probably the most essential and most important part of me that I treasure from this trip, and I am truly grateful to her for showing me the way. The fight is mine and mine alone, but you have shown me how to fight. Thank you.
I'm so glad that I made this trip. It was truly amazing and awakening. I am happy. Now I can go home.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
To Japan, to find myself...
I'm going to Japan! Tonight! Haha! Basically I haven't planned this trip, nor really thought about it hard, as I didn't expect this trip to materialize. But life has an interesting way of making things work out.
So now i'm headed there, from 31 Mar - 12 Apr. It will be 2 weeks of unplanned, spontaneous fun! Am going to blog about it as much as I can. So stay tuned!
So now i'm headed there, from 31 Mar - 12 Apr. It will be 2 weeks of unplanned, spontaneous fun! Am going to blog about it as much as I can. So stay tuned!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
There's a Kind of Hush....
Originally by the Carpenters, but I love the version by Engelbert Humperdinck!
(*) There's a kind of hush
All over the world tonight
All over the world
You can hear the sound of lovers in love
You know what I mean
Just the two of us
And nobody else in sight
There's nobody else and I'm feelin good
Just holding you tight
(**) So listen very carefully
Get closer now and you will see what I mean
It isn't a dream
The only sound that you will hear
Is when I whisper in your ear I love you
For ever and ever
There's a kind of hush
All over the world tonight
All over the world
People just like us are fallin' love
Repeat (**)
Repeat (*)
Thoughts again
Thoughts
There are two types of people. Those that hold you back, and those who push you to seek new heights.
Example of the former: My P6 teacher, back in ACJS. Anyone familiar with the PSLE streaming process, knows that just before the finals, one submits the list of Sec Schools to apply for. My parents made me apply for top SAP schools, believing I could make it. My teacher, upon seeing my choices, laughed out in front of the entire class, and said I was over-estimating my potential and that I should have for my affiliated Sec Sch instead. Left an indelible mark.
She's a prime example of those who care about "knowing your limitations". "Don't dream big, coz the bigger the expectation, the greater the disappointment." Perhaps they have gone thru some major upset in their lives, and want others to learn from their expectations.
Indeed, this type of persona exists in large concentrations here. Just work in any govt agency & you'll find a plethora of pessimistic opinions abound, poo-pooing any attempts for lofty aspirations. "They will never accept it. You don't understand the situation. You are still young and naive. YOU WILL LEARN SOON ENOUGH!"
They are also the types who would go out and ensure their predictions come true.
Living in such environment, one cannot help but get absorbed in the limitations, the pessimism masquerading as "realism". "Sorry, you just don't have enough experience. We prefer someone with 7 years of (irrelevant) experience." Capability has nothing to do with it.
Soon, you'll echo similar emotions: "She's too good for me", "You'll never make it, so why are you trying?","Don't venture, stay home and safe". I've become a masquerade myself.
Then there is another.
To meet someone in life, who "has done it all" and still believes that there are no barriers, is simply astounding. He is a leader in his field, a devoted family man, with strong religious roots, and serves his country above and beyond the call of duty. His favorite phrase "For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it needs to go into a cocoon. In the chrysalis, the caterpillar literally breaks down to the molecular level, before it gets reformed and reborn into new possibilities as a butterfly! From crawling about, to soaring high in the heavens".
Little cynical me always chokes a little at this point, coz I simply can't buy into his belief on a sub-conscious level. I'm, as he tells me, am shackled by the barriers and limits that my environment has imposed upon me.
No, that's a lie, the barriers around me, I've imposed on myself. Those limits to the possibilities, I shut off, coz I can no longer face the possibility of failure, of disappointment.
There are boundless possibilities, I am limited only to my own imagination. I must return to the faith of my youth, and that so long as I believe it will happen, and I work hard enough at it, it will come true for me! I will move from the former to the latter, and unshackle myself and live to the fullest!
Friends, believe in me also, as I believe in you!
There are two types of people. Those that hold you back, and those who push you to seek new heights.
Example of the former: My P6 teacher, back in ACJS. Anyone familiar with the PSLE streaming process, knows that just before the finals, one submits the list of Sec Schools to apply for. My parents made me apply for top SAP schools, believing I could make it. My teacher, upon seeing my choices, laughed out in front of the entire class, and said I was over-estimating my potential and that I should have for my affiliated Sec Sch instead. Left an indelible mark.
She's a prime example of those who care about "knowing your limitations". "Don't dream big, coz the bigger the expectation, the greater the disappointment." Perhaps they have gone thru some major upset in their lives, and want others to learn from their expectations.
Indeed, this type of persona exists in large concentrations here. Just work in any govt agency & you'll find a plethora of pessimistic opinions abound, poo-pooing any attempts for lofty aspirations. "They will never accept it. You don't understand the situation. You are still young and naive. YOU WILL LEARN SOON ENOUGH!"
They are also the types who would go out and ensure their predictions come true.
Living in such environment, one cannot help but get absorbed in the limitations, the pessimism masquerading as "realism". "Sorry, you just don't have enough experience. We prefer someone with 7 years of (irrelevant) experience." Capability has nothing to do with it.
Soon, you'll echo similar emotions: "She's too good for me", "You'll never make it, so why are you trying?","Don't venture, stay home and safe". I've become a masquerade myself.
Then there is another.
To meet someone in life, who "has done it all" and still believes that there are no barriers, is simply astounding. He is a leader in his field, a devoted family man, with strong religious roots, and serves his country above and beyond the call of duty. His favorite phrase "For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it needs to go into a cocoon. In the chrysalis, the caterpillar literally breaks down to the molecular level, before it gets reformed and reborn into new possibilities as a butterfly! From crawling about, to soaring high in the heavens".
Little cynical me always chokes a little at this point, coz I simply can't buy into his belief on a sub-conscious level. I'm, as he tells me, am shackled by the barriers and limits that my environment has imposed upon me.
No, that's a lie, the barriers around me, I've imposed on myself. Those limits to the possibilities, I shut off, coz I can no longer face the possibility of failure, of disappointment.
There are boundless possibilities, I am limited only to my own imagination. I must return to the faith of my youth, and that so long as I believe it will happen, and I work hard enough at it, it will come true for me! I will move from the former to the latter, and unshackle myself and live to the fullest!
Friends, believe in me also, as I believe in you!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Annual Ritual
My family usually bakes our Chinese New Year cakes, and this year is no different. My mom's chocolate walnut cake is very well-liked, and we make it for our friends, relatives and neighbors every year. In fact, even gave the recipe out to TPS' mom who wanted it after tasting the one I massacred about 2 weeks back.
Unlike that one though, today's cakes (There were four of them) came out fabulous! Each one was not burnt, and the mixture was well-distributed throughout the entire cake. Only one cake kind of cracked at the top, but still looked damn yummy.
It's fun baking this cake. A lot of work, beating the egg white (separately) until it becomes a white foamy, fluffy mixture (texture is like the soap at those foam parties!). Then the tasting of the raw ingredients (chocolate rice and walnuts taste damn good in cake batter mix! The use of the satay stick to check if the cake is ready or not... et... and the smell...
Nothing, NOTHING beats the smell of freshly baked cakes. And the chance to eat it immediately once it comes out of the oven: SHEER HEAVEN. When the cake is still hot, and taking a bite into the moist, warm chocolate and walnuts, all the while inhaling the thick, intoxicating, chocolate-y scent. All my diet plans just get blown away...
There are walnut cakes, and there are walnut cakes. Heck, even Bengawan Solo distributes the walnut cakes as a standard gift for the baby's full month. But it simply can't compare with home fare. Coz each cake is really baked with loving care. TLC IS one of the ingredients; machines just can't produce the same attention to detail, nor generate the same giddy anticipation as one waiting for the cake to come out of the oven!
That's why CNY is great! Traditions, rituals, and the excuse to eat and eat and eat!
Happy Chinese New Year!
It's fun baking this cake. A lot of work, beating the egg white (separately) until it becomes a white foamy, fluffy mixture (texture is like the soap at those foam parties!). Then the tasting of the raw ingredients (chocolate rice and walnuts taste damn good in cake batter mix! The use of the satay stick to check if the cake is ready or not... et... and the smell...
Nothing, NOTHING beats the smell of freshly baked cakes. And the chance to eat it immediately once it comes out of the oven: SHEER HEAVEN. When the cake is still hot, and taking a bite into the moist, warm chocolate and walnuts, all the while inhaling the thick, intoxicating, chocolate-y scent. All my diet plans just get blown away...
There are walnut cakes, and there are walnut cakes. Heck, even Bengawan Solo distributes the walnut cakes as a standard gift for the baby's full month. But it simply can't compare with home fare. Coz each cake is really baked with loving care. TLC IS one of the ingredients; machines just can't produce the same attention to detail, nor generate the same giddy anticipation as one waiting for the cake to come out of the oven!
That's why CNY is great! Traditions, rituals, and the excuse to eat and eat and eat!
Happy Chinese New Year!
Monday, February 08, 2010
Thoughts about Stuff
One of the reasons why I joined this subsidiary back in Sep 08 was that I wanted to contribute to the creation of the perfect company, a chance to right the things that went wrong, a fresh new beginning, to make a difference.
Someone just provoked me to think of the stuff that needs to be done, to make sure the subsidiary (Child) does not suffer the same fate as the mother company (Mother).
Obviously not everything can be done in a single night. Will try to think as I go along.
1) Fire incompetent people
That's the first and foremost policy. The Mother is a government statutory board. This means CIVIL SERVICE, means *almost* lifelong employment, means seniority takes precedence over goodness of ideas, means jackasses hire other jackasses to safeguard their jobs, means playing politics so that they don't have to do work, means ceaselessly avoiding blame by delegating upwards/downwards. No matter how advanced or well-governed a country is by its bureaucracy, this will exist. Worst is when jackasses perpetuate themselves, and entrench themselves further and further.
Bosses feel disinclined to fire staff unless they commit a large enough boo-boo; means small, multiple, repeated boo-boos are tolerated. The incompetents just plod along, and their job scope get smaller as bosses and staff go around them to get work done. They sit there and wait for end of workday, and scoot off. All the cares of the company ignored.
They are leeches! Apart from the undeserving pay, they suck the life out of the other motivated staff who work hard but have no chance to rise coz their paths are block by the leeches. What happens is that the good ones leave when their growth is stunted, leaving the bad ones proliferating and thriving in this environment. It promotes a culture of sloth, of covering your asses, of not daring to make decisions and always looking upwards. They care more about procedures, coz that's a safe haven, something that will never go wrong, that's "By the Book".
I can see the leeches festering in the Child, just as it had with the Mother. Once the leeches attain critical mass, the body is beyond salvation. The solution is to identify these leeches (very simple exercise), and remove them as an example to the rest of the staff that unlike the Mother, incompetence is NOT tolerated. Only high performing members need apply, no free loaders allowed to taint their purity.
I know it sounds extreme, but it is necessary. It must be done immediately, for the Child is already suffering from the repeated blood loss.
Someone just provoked me to think of the stuff that needs to be done, to make sure the subsidiary (Child) does not suffer the same fate as the mother company (Mother).
Obviously not everything can be done in a single night. Will try to think as I go along.
1) Fire incompetent people
That's the first and foremost policy. The Mother is a government statutory board. This means CIVIL SERVICE, means *almost* lifelong employment, means seniority takes precedence over goodness of ideas, means jackasses hire other jackasses to safeguard their jobs, means playing politics so that they don't have to do work, means ceaselessly avoiding blame by delegating upwards/downwards. No matter how advanced or well-governed a country is by its bureaucracy, this will exist. Worst is when jackasses perpetuate themselves, and entrench themselves further and further.
Bosses feel disinclined to fire staff unless they commit a large enough boo-boo; means small, multiple, repeated boo-boos are tolerated. The incompetents just plod along, and their job scope get smaller as bosses and staff go around them to get work done. They sit there and wait for end of workday, and scoot off. All the cares of the company ignored.
They are leeches! Apart from the undeserving pay, they suck the life out of the other motivated staff who work hard but have no chance to rise coz their paths are block by the leeches. What happens is that the good ones leave when their growth is stunted, leaving the bad ones proliferating and thriving in this environment. It promotes a culture of sloth, of covering your asses, of not daring to make decisions and always looking upwards. They care more about procedures, coz that's a safe haven, something that will never go wrong, that's "By the Book".
I can see the leeches festering in the Child, just as it had with the Mother. Once the leeches attain critical mass, the body is beyond salvation. The solution is to identify these leeches (very simple exercise), and remove them as an example to the rest of the staff that unlike the Mother, incompetence is NOT tolerated. Only high performing members need apply, no free loaders allowed to taint their purity.
I know it sounds extreme, but it is necessary. It must be done immediately, for the Child is already suffering from the repeated blood loss.
Ode to Carrot Cake
carrot cake,
carrot cake,
every evening i eat thee...
lotsa eggs,
black or white,
it looks happy to be ate by meeeeeee...
blosssoms of cai po make you bloom and grow,
bloom and grow,
even faaaattter
carrot cake,
carrot cake,
bless your yummy sweet taste foreverrrrrrrrrr!
carrot cake,
every evening i eat thee...
lotsa eggs,
black or white,
it looks happy to be ate by meeeeeee...
blosssoms of cai po make you bloom and grow,
bloom and grow,
even faaaattter
carrot cake,
carrot cake,
bless your yummy sweet taste foreverrrrrrrrrr!
Am I Lost, or Do I Know Exactly Where I Am Heading?
Yesterday, I went down to the nearby coffeeshop to buy dinner for my family. While waiting for my food to cook, I walked over to the nearby 7-11 to browse a little. Along the way, I saw this couple...
You might say, that they were any other couple around, perfectly ordinary couple in fact. They were just sitting, no, squatting in front of the local hair salon. Rather plump and mature couple, I would say, and a couple that was completely lost in the miracle that is ... their PSPs.
Can you just visualize the scene:
They looked about 30+ years old. In their normal, drab even, tees and shorts, squatting outside the local hair salon, and playing their PSPs. They each had one, and were not in fact talking to each other. Maybe they were playing against each other, maybe not. That's how they had spent at least 20 minutes of their Sunday evening.
They didn't actually look happy; they just felt like that to me. A couple, content with their entertainment, huddled close to each other, with no longing for greatness, no incessant hunger for something more than what they had right now, no disappointment for their current body state...
Reminds me of my chats with this old friend of mine. Every half a year, we would meet up, and instantly the topic will revert to our laments how we are never satisfied with our lives, how we always aim for something more, how we are never truly happy. There is always something lacking, we would say, that keeps us from being content. It's the knowledge that there's something better out there, that's achievable, attainable, just a little out of our grasp.
So we live on, leading unhappy, unsatisfied, unmeaningful lives. And we meet up, and we lament, again and again. Perhaps, one day, we will be as blessed as the PSP couple, living happy, carefree, fulfilling lives without wont.
Not today...
You might say, that they were any other couple around, perfectly ordinary couple in fact. They were just sitting, no, squatting in front of the local hair salon. Rather plump and mature couple, I would say, and a couple that was completely lost in the miracle that is ... their PSPs.
Can you just visualize the scene:
They looked about 30+ years old. In their normal, drab even, tees and shorts, squatting outside the local hair salon, and playing their PSPs. They each had one, and were not in fact talking to each other. Maybe they were playing against each other, maybe not. That's how they had spent at least 20 minutes of their Sunday evening.
They didn't actually look happy; they just felt like that to me. A couple, content with their entertainment, huddled close to each other, with no longing for greatness, no incessant hunger for something more than what they had right now, no disappointment for their current body state...
Reminds me of my chats with this old friend of mine. Every half a year, we would meet up, and instantly the topic will revert to our laments how we are never satisfied with our lives, how we always aim for something more, how we are never truly happy. There is always something lacking, we would say, that keeps us from being content. It's the knowledge that there's something better out there, that's achievable, attainable, just a little out of our grasp.
So we live on, leading unhappy, unsatisfied, unmeaningful lives. And we meet up, and we lament, again and again. Perhaps, one day, we will be as blessed as the PSP couple, living happy, carefree, fulfilling lives without wont.
Not today...
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Place I wanna go...
Poison Ivy - Kranji Countryside
Halia - Botanical Gardens
Bark Cafe - Upper Changi Road North
Garden Slug - Joo Chiat
Halia - Botanical Gardens
Bark Cafe - Upper Changi Road North
Garden Slug - Joo Chiat
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Hurt my back...
Playing tennis with bj & jh on saturday evening. Didn't realize how bad it was until I tried, agonizingly to climb into bed... 10 mins spent bent over, with the muscular spasms coming in unrelenting waves. Couldn't stand back up, couldn't climb back in.
Haven't had this problem in such a long time! The last time I hurt so bad, it was at a skating rink. I fell completely backwards, but instead of falling on my big fat bum, like every other average guy attempting to ice-skate, I felt directly on my back bone area. Complete impact... Afterwards I couldn't walk properly.
This time around, I could walk, even walk quite fast, but I have trouble during transition; standing to sitting, standing to lying. Sigh, can't exercise, can't move about much, all I can do is eat... and eat and eat and eat...
It's ok, it's just a minor setback! I will do it, now that I have a reason to do it! :) More about that another time...
Haven't had this problem in such a long time! The last time I hurt so bad, it was at a skating rink. I fell completely backwards, but instead of falling on my big fat bum, like every other average guy attempting to ice-skate, I felt directly on my back bone area. Complete impact... Afterwards I couldn't walk properly.
This time around, I could walk, even walk quite fast, but I have trouble during transition; standing to sitting, standing to lying. Sigh, can't exercise, can't move about much, all I can do is eat... and eat and eat and eat...
It's ok, it's just a minor setback! I will do it, now that I have a reason to do it! :) More about that another time...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Dedicated to a friend...
This is dedicated to a dear friend who just left to pursue her dreams overseas...
There comes a time in life when you meet someone who is just one-of-a-kind. One who makes the world revolve around her. And you can't help it but be sucked into her world, willingly, and totally revel in it.
As you know the person better, you learn more about her, but more importantly, you learn more about yourself. To me, she has become the person who truly epitomizes the phrase, "Grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Rather than just accept or suffer her vulnerabilities, she has turned them around to make it part of her persona, and enjoys the jibes she gets about it. Case in point, for me, who naturally loves listening to retro oldies, don't usually talk about it lest I get made fun of ("So ah peh") What I've learnt from her is that, don't be embarrassed with who you are. Instead, Acknowledge, Accept and Embrace, and people will love you for who you are...
She's a person who is brave enough, even Thrives, on change and going against the flow. I'm totally the opposite, swaying with the wind, changing tack as each situation occurs. I've always wanted to work overseas, but it just seems so difficult, so impossible for me, given my circumstances. What I've learnt is to focus: when you have something you know you want, go ahead and want it bad! Go after it No Matter What. Don't give in at the first sign of difficulty, persist even when there's still resistance from your loved ones. If you believe in it hard enough, they will be persuaded. Even if they don't, you will gain their respect...
2009 was one of my better, if not the best, year in my 29+ years of existence, and she's one of the chief reasons for that. I came out of my shell, and got into windsurfing, wine appreciation, the super interesting forest adventure, even rock-climbing! I met alot of friends, and I have taken steps to step out of my risk-adverse nature. It's all thanks to you :)
I wish the very very best for you when you are in Chicago. You will be sorely sorely missed.
There comes a time in life when you meet someone who is just one-of-a-kind. One who makes the world revolve around her. And you can't help it but be sucked into her world, willingly, and totally revel in it.
As you know the person better, you learn more about her, but more importantly, you learn more about yourself. To me, she has become the person who truly epitomizes the phrase, "Grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Rather than just accept or suffer her vulnerabilities, she has turned them around to make it part of her persona, and enjoys the jibes she gets about it. Case in point, for me, who naturally loves listening to retro oldies, don't usually talk about it lest I get made fun of ("So ah peh") What I've learnt from her is that, don't be embarrassed with who you are. Instead, Acknowledge, Accept and Embrace, and people will love you for who you are...
She's a person who is brave enough, even Thrives, on change and going against the flow. I'm totally the opposite, swaying with the wind, changing tack as each situation occurs. I've always wanted to work overseas, but it just seems so difficult, so impossible for me, given my circumstances. What I've learnt is to focus: when you have something you know you want, go ahead and want it bad! Go after it No Matter What. Don't give in at the first sign of difficulty, persist even when there's still resistance from your loved ones. If you believe in it hard enough, they will be persuaded. Even if they don't, you will gain their respect...
2009 was one of my better, if not the best, year in my 29+ years of existence, and she's one of the chief reasons for that. I came out of my shell, and got into windsurfing, wine appreciation, the super interesting forest adventure, even rock-climbing! I met alot of friends, and I have taken steps to step out of my risk-adverse nature. It's all thanks to you :)
I wish the very very best for you when you are in Chicago. You will be sorely sorely missed.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thoughts
On the surface, I had a most wonderful weekend. Had some friends over for movie and makan on Friday night. On Sunday, played tennis, baked my chocolate walnut cake, and had a wonderful pho dinner at TPS' place. Her mom is a great cook, and the brownies were just as delicious.
On the surface.
Actually, this weekend, I kind of fell off the wagon. There were alot of snacks left over from movie night on Friday, and I sort of snapped. I ate, and I ate, and I ate. I drank soft drinks, finished up the Hello Panda, and most of the other snacks. Then I started ravaging the kitchen, and ate excessively for all the meals this weekend. It was a relapse...
With that came the guilt. And the sheer impact of the guilt depressed me deeply. And I went back to my uni habits, eating even more to drive away the depression, the vicious cycle returning again. Knowing you are slipping sucks. The mood disappears, the optimism fades, the hope for a better age, disintegrates.
Everyday of my life, I am fighting my natural mode of being. I love to eat; but I restrict. I hate to exercise; but I drag my sorry carcass to the gym. I have no passion for my work; I dig deep to produce quality constantly.
The answer is clear: Acceptance. But I'm not ready. I refuse to believe that this is "As Good As It Gets" and accept my lot in life. And it's this inner burst of energy that drives me to do the things I do. And it was missing this weekend.
The momentary weakness has passed. On to a brighter week ahead!
On the surface.
Actually, this weekend, I kind of fell off the wagon. There were alot of snacks left over from movie night on Friday, and I sort of snapped. I ate, and I ate, and I ate. I drank soft drinks, finished up the Hello Panda, and most of the other snacks. Then I started ravaging the kitchen, and ate excessively for all the meals this weekend. It was a relapse...
With that came the guilt. And the sheer impact of the guilt depressed me deeply. And I went back to my uni habits, eating even more to drive away the depression, the vicious cycle returning again. Knowing you are slipping sucks. The mood disappears, the optimism fades, the hope for a better age, disintegrates.
Everyday of my life, I am fighting my natural mode of being. I love to eat; but I restrict. I hate to exercise; but I drag my sorry carcass to the gym. I have no passion for my work; I dig deep to produce quality constantly.
The answer is clear: Acceptance. But I'm not ready. I refuse to believe that this is "As Good As It Gets" and accept my lot in life. And it's this inner burst of energy that drives me to do the things I do. And it was missing this weekend.
The momentary weakness has passed. On to a brighter week ahead!
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Planning for the GMAT
Just read somewhere that it takes about 2 - 3 months to prepare for the GMAT. It costs about USD$250, and seems like there are alot of valid test dates (i.e. not like the stupid CFA).
So what I would need to do is ensure that I'll be in Singapore for the fixed period of time (3 months) before my test date. Then I'll apply for it. Hopefully I can start booking for the GMAT in Apr/May for the Aug/Sep period. We shall see...
The Test Venue:
So what I would need to do is ensure that I'll be in Singapore for the fixed period of time (3 months) before my test date. Then I'll apply for it. Hopefully I can start booking for the GMAT in Apr/May for the Aug/Sep period. We shall see...
The Test Venue:
Test Center: Pearson Professional Centers-Singapore
Address: International Plaza
Level 30, Unit 3,
10 Anson Road
Singapore, 079903
Singapore
Map
MapQuest directions are sometimes inaccurate. Be sure to read the test center directions below.
Telephone: +65 6225 2027
Directions: MRT: Tanjong Pagar Station
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Tennis Zen
Whenever I'm playing tennis, when it gets into the heat of the moment, I always try to tell myself to hold back and relax. To calm my nerves. To Ommmmmmm...
It's completely essential and necessary to slow your heart rate, to stop your mind from racing as you yourself race to and fro the tennis court. In fact, I'm trying out this technique where I mentally WILL the ball to slow down when it's coming my way, so that I can take a step back (metaphorically speaking, of course), and consider my options, and prepare my stance and my swing. And to remember to follow through with each hit.
Tennis is just about attempting to hit every single shot with the body-to-ball position the same. It's really zen-like, in fact. As my coach said before, the ball speed is actually fixed, it's you who determines whether the ball coming towards you is fast or slow. And when you can hit the ball back with the same posture repeatedly, you fast approach a zen-like state of mind. Ommmmm... haha!
Shall try that out the next time we play tennis. And blot out everything else, at work, relationships, health, friendships, yada yada. And just focus on the tennis ball.
It's completely essential and necessary to slow your heart rate, to stop your mind from racing as you yourself race to and fro the tennis court. In fact, I'm trying out this technique where I mentally WILL the ball to slow down when it's coming my way, so that I can take a step back (metaphorically speaking, of course), and consider my options, and prepare my stance and my swing. And to remember to follow through with each hit.
Tennis is just about attempting to hit every single shot with the body-to-ball position the same. It's really zen-like, in fact. As my coach said before, the ball speed is actually fixed, it's you who determines whether the ball coming towards you is fast or slow. And when you can hit the ball back with the same posture repeatedly, you fast approach a zen-like state of mind. Ommmmm... haha!
Shall try that out the next time we play tennis. And blot out everything else, at work, relationships, health, friendships, yada yada. And just focus on the tennis ball.
Time: How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions: Advice from Experts
Probably a most relevant article by Time Magazine...
About half of all American adults (48%, according to a Marist poll taken in December) say they are at least somewhat likely to make a New Year's resolution this year. Their top vows: to lose weight (19%), quit smoking (12%) and exercise more (10%). Sound familiar?
The Marist poll also found that while 65% of people who made a resolution in 2008 kept their promise for at least part of the following year, 35% never even made it out of the gate. Indeed, when you wake bleary-eyed on the first day of a new year — or decade — resolutions to "cut back" and "moderate" seem both an excellent idea and an impossibly hazy dream. (See TIME's special report on health and happiness.)
But consider this: if hard-core addicts can break bad habits — some by moderating, not just quitting — there's still hope for you. Whether your goal for 2010 is to get fit or tame your drinking, experts say there's a lot you can learn from people who have successfully moderated their habits to help keep you off the resolution merry-go-round.
1. Don't Kid Yourself
"The most important thing is to be honest with yourself," says Howard Josepher, a former heroin addict and president of Exponents Inc., an organization that provides support and educational services to people with substance misuse issues. "You need to know the difference between enjoying yourself and self-medicating. It's not that self-medicating is necessarily bad — but you should give yourself parameters. If you are adhering to them, O.K. If not, you need to check yourself." (See the year in health 2009.)
Successful moderators decide in advance how much is "too much" — and stick to their limit, no matter what. Have a cookie a day, if that's what you've deemed acceptable. But if you "cheat" by having "just one more," know that you are only cheating yourself and exacerbating the problem, experts say. The point is to learn how to hold yourself accountable.
For those who are concerned about drinking in particular, a free, research-based online tool called Drinker's Checkup can help you determine whether you are drinking at unhealthy levels, and what to do if you are.
2. Quit Cold Turkey — Temporarily
"Theoretically, there are very good reasons to take a break from a behavior, totally," says Reid Hester, director of research at Behavior Therapy Associates, explaining that an initial period of complete abstinence can make it easier for people to moderate behavior, by eliminating the habitual, automatic aspect of the unwanted activity. (See America's health checkup.)
Take a cue from the self-help group Moderation Management (MM), which advises problem drinkers to abstain completely for a month before attempting moderate drinking. If you can't achieve a month of abstinence, the thinking goes, successful moderation is unlikely.
The best way to stay on course is frequent self-monitoring; use as many behavior-modification tools, support groups and programs as you can. In October, Hester and colleagues published a randomized controlled trial in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment comparing heavy drinkers who used MM's website to help them quit with those who used the MM site plus another online tool, which teaches behavior-control tactics and helps chart drinking. While both groups significantly reduced their drinking and alcohol-related problems, the group that used the additional tool had more days abstinent and drank less when they drank.
3. Do What the Dalai Lama Would Do
Alan Marlatt, director of the Addictive Behaviors Research Center at the University of Washington, studies "mindfulness-based relapse prevention," which uses meditation and other ideas from Buddhist teachings to help people break bad habits. (Read "Battling Addiction: Are 12 Steps Too Many?")
"Between stimulus and response, there's a space, and in that space is our power to choose our response, and in our response lies our growth and freedom," says Marlatt, quoting author and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl. Marlatt says, "Mindfulness gets you into that space."
Being mindful may involve traditional meditation, in which you sit quietly and observe your thoughts and breathing without judgment. But here, it is also used to focus awareness on thoughts and feelings that lead to unwanted behavior. Simply recognizing the triggers to relapse can help you choose not to give into them. "When there's a fork in road, craving is pulling you one way. Well, what's the other way? You have to look down other road see where it takes you. Then, you have a choice, instead of being on autopilot," says Marlatt.
One tactic he recommends for resisting those cravings is called "urge surfing." It involves being mindful of the fact that craving is like a wave — it rises to a peak, then falls. This happens whether you yield to the urge or not, though most people erroneously think their craving will escalate endlessly, unless they give in. In fact, succumbing to cravings only reinforces them — resisting, in contrast, reinforces resistance. Marlatt advises watching your urge, noting its peak and "surfing" it, rather than allowing it to wipe you out.
Another trick to recognize is that willpower is like a muscle — it gets stronger with appropriate use, but ultimately weakens if overloaded. That's why Hester recommends setting short-term goals that are "moderately difficult, realistic, concrete and measurable." As with weight-lifting, starting at a level that is challenging but not overwhelming can provide a sense of achievement and success — which can give you the drive to take on bigger challenges.
4. Don't Try to Scare Yourself Straight
Research shows that in the long term, the pleasure of victory is a better incentive than the agony of defeat. "Punishment is a poor motivator," says Hester. "It sets people up for failure. If all you do is punish yourself for failure, you won't stay motivated to change for very long."
Instead, reward yourself for sticking to your limits and focus on the benefits of changing. For instance, if your goal is to drink less or lose weight, treat yourself to something you want — a new book or DVD, say — each time you successfully resist a tempting dessert or achieve a goal, like a month of abstinence. Success tends to beget greater success. If you do slip back into old patterns, avoid recriminations. "Don't say, 'I can't do it,'" says Marlatt. "People make mistakes. If you keep working at it, you will get better over time. That's what the research shows."
For some people, trying to moderate bad habits is not achievable or takes more effort than abstaining altogether — as the philosopher Saint Augustine put it, "Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." Recognizing this by trying and failing can also be a critical step toward behavior change.
5. Get Better Friends
Consciously and unconsciously, people tend to imitate those around them. That's why the latest research shows that things like happiness, quitting smoking and obesity can spread like a contagion through social networks. So, surround yourself with friends who can also be role models. "Make sure that people you hang out with are people who look and act the way you would like to. Social imitation is the easiest form not only of flattery but of self-improvement," says Stanton Peele, author of Seven Tools to Beat Addiction. (Read "In Old Age, Friends Can Keep You Young. Really.")
Social support is critical to changing all kinds of behavior. Good friends can not only help you through slip-ups, but they can also help keep your New Year's resolution from taking over your life. Rather than obsessing about what you shouldn't be doing, think about things you should, experts say. The distraction will help you curb bad habits. "Focus on your higher goals and positive activities, things that both sustain you and fill your life," says Peele. If you regularly engage in meaningful activities that give you pleasure — whether it's visiting friends, picking up a hobby, taking a class or doing volunteer work (one of the most overlooked sources of personal joy and meaning is helping others) — you'll simply have less time to crave or engage in the behavior that you want to reduce.
Friday, January 01, 2010
Underwater Photographer by Martin Edge
Was reading this book by Martin Edge at Kino yesterday. It's in the 3rd edition already, and I spent 1+ hours reading it. It's really an amazing and useful book, covering from all the basics of photography, to the techniques employed by good underwater photographers.
One of the techniques suggested, and I was beginning to employ but didn't quite realise, was that we should always take pictures with the subject above the camera. Too often, we are just taking pictures downwards, as we might on land, since it's like a lot more natural. But this means that we will be taking the subject in question against the reef/rock/sand, which doesn't really show off the beauty of the underwater environment. Capturing the pictures from down upwards will capture the essence of the water and the subject.
Now i'm totally psyched about underwater photography. Planning to get the new Canon Powershot G11 and Underwater Housing DC-34 sometime this year, and then i'll be taking picture galore! Too bad Dive Photography is SUCH an expensive hobby, DIVING and UNDERWATER PHOTOGRAPHY (with underwater housing, macro lens, fish-eye lens and the various strobe lights, etc) combined.
Canon G-11 Review
Anyone wanna sponsor me?
One of the techniques suggested, and I was beginning to employ but didn't quite realise, was that we should always take pictures with the subject above the camera. Too often, we are just taking pictures downwards, as we might on land, since it's like a lot more natural. But this means that we will be taking the subject in question against the reef/rock/sand, which doesn't really show off the beauty of the underwater environment. Capturing the pictures from down upwards will capture the essence of the water and the subject.
Now i'm totally psyched about underwater photography. Planning to get the new Canon Powershot G11 and Underwater Housing DC-34 sometime this year, and then i'll be taking picture galore! Too bad Dive Photography is SUCH an expensive hobby, DIVING and UNDERWATER PHOTOGRAPHY (with underwater housing, macro lens, fish-eye lens and the various strobe lights, etc) combined.
Canon G-11 Review
Anyone wanna sponsor me?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
2009
Overall a very interesting year! Explored and learnt new things about myself, met alot of new friends, and fully opened up to all the possibilities in the world! Have been very inspired by those around me, pursuing their dreams no matter what, driven by a belief that things will get better, even as it gets harder...
Found a new passion in my life, which is underwater photography. I want to be able to take endless pictures of nature's beauty and share them around.
Have tried out new stuff, even if I wasn't any good at them, so long as I try. Life is not about succeeding at everything, it's about enjoying the process as well.
Life certainly has changed. Have become bolder, more confident, more energised in the 2nd half of the year. And 2010 will get even better, with more targets, more goals, more fun!
Life is truly a pleasure to live!
Found a new passion in my life, which is underwater photography. I want to be able to take endless pictures of nature's beauty and share them around.
Have tried out new stuff, even if I wasn't any good at them, so long as I try. Life is not about succeeding at everything, it's about enjoying the process as well.
Life certainly has changed. Have become bolder, more confident, more energised in the 2nd half of the year. And 2010 will get even better, with more targets, more goals, more fun!
Life is truly a pleasure to live!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)