My Last Night in Japan

My English teacher always said it was bad to summarise before starting the paper.  This is not a summary, it's more of an overview of my trip.  Not going into the nitty-gritty of all my mis-adventures, but rather the things I've learnt about myself throughout the course of the journey...

It was, and still is, a journey of self-discovery.  The best way to know oneself, is to start with knowing what you are not.  This is done by interacting with others, to learn how others are, and how you respond to others.  It's also to interact with new cultures, new practices, methods, and discover hidden parallels that you never knew existed, latent energies and capabilities that, for lack of an occasion, never manifested.

Some of the things I now realise about myself are trivial, others profound.  However, it forms a complete 360-degree representation of me, at least me in my current state, that will help determine who I am in the future.

1)  A diver
Two aspects of the trip I enjoyed the most:  Osaka Aquarium and the Marine Dive Expo at Sunshine City (Ikebukuro in Tokyo).  I have definitely been a fish out of water since my last dive trip to Sipadan in December, and I was just fascinated and bewildered by the Aquarium.  Granted, I've already seen the Whale Sharks, Mola-molas, and sharks in my previous dive trips, but frankly, the stuff Mother Nature has created is vastly superior to anything man-made.  Not castles, not skyscrapers, not throngs and throngs of people crossing a busy intersection in Shinjuku.  The simple movements and life of marine animals are more pleasing to the eye, are more restful to the mind, and more settling to the heart than thousands of years of cultural growth, at least to me.  The Expo reminded me of an aspect I have neglected, for lack of time and ability to plan ahead, within myself.  I AM the most happy when I am diving; every other time is a surface interval.

2)  Adaptable
When I first arrived, i screwed up on the first major thing I did:  I took the wrong train.  Yes, it was headed to Ueno, yes it was on the same platform as what the train conductor said, but it was the wrong time.  Japan is a country run on its train schedules:  meticulous, unerring, and process-driven.  And I paid for my mistake:  another 1000 yen.  A valuable learning experience, to be sure.  Nothing makes me learn faster than when I make a mistake.  In other words, I learn the fastest when I am the most willing to be wrong.

My Japanese, thrown aside for a decade, came slamming back to me.  Here and there, bits and pieces of Japanese phrases, characters and concepts flowed back into consciousness while adding new ones.  I forced myself to recognise all the Kanji characters so that train maps made sense even without English translations.  After making a few errors in train station exits, I learnt the tough way how to ensure that I was on the right exit before I leave the station.  That probably saved me a ton of time and effort scrambling around the confusing labyrinth passages that surrounded every major station.  At the end, I became fluent with the subways system (with its competing and complementary train services) for Tokyo and Osaka, my two main base of operations, probably better than any of my other friends travelling in Japan.

3)  Financially prudent
It took me interactions with my friend in Tokyo, as well as her friends who came to visit to realise the kind of financial person that I am.  As much of a techie-geek that I am, in the never-ending search to build the best home theater system for my room, I have always balked at spending the insane amount of $ on the state-of-the-art, cutting edge stuff like Bose speakers.  I was blown away by the uber ultimate bachelorette pad she has created for herself, her penchant to spend on such extravagance without fully understanding its capabilities is beyond me.  I'm not judging her at all, rather it serves to reinforce the kind of person that I am, or at least the financial standing.  Another incident was when I met her room-mate's friends.  They were the true-blue tai-tais, and were discussing whether 20,000 was sufficient for the next day of premium outlet shopping.  My friend (and I) automatically assumed it was 20,000 yen (S$300), but they were referring to S$20,000 instead.  Our base point of reference was so completely off it got a little awkward then. 

Even if I had a hundred million dollars, I would think twice about spending such money.  I truly believe in Value-For-Money, and I will always have in mind a set (and modest) budget for discretionary purchases.  I'm so far off the bar from my friend (and the room-mate's tai-tai friends), but I know something.  I want to reach their level of financial standing, but not their level of extravagance. This sight has shown me how big the world is, and how far I am from the top, and it has fueled my passion and hunger to gun for it, a passion that has waned and died in the preceding years being throttled in Singapore's civil service.

4)  Willing to break barriers
Entering a hot spring full of naked men was definitely an, for lack of a better term, eye-popping experience.  I know inherently I will never feel completely relaxed in such an environment, but I have learnt to appreciate it, while minimising the associated awkwardness.  Onsen was an interesting experience, and it helps the body relax while washing in the minerals that the hot spring water provides, almost intoxicating like a drug.  Though I was initially very very reluctant to try it, I'm glad I went ahead with it (with the encouragement of my friends, of course, who incidentally added to the awkwardness of seeing friends naked and chatting nude in the hot spring).

Another aspect that I've learnt was that I am willing to open up myself and show my inadequacies.  In Japan, by myself, I was always lost, always in a foreign area in a foreign language.  I've put down my pride, and basically asked anyone and everyone for directions, for assistance, for guidance.  The best way to learn by yourself is by making mistakes, but the fastest way to learn is by admitting your lack and approaching others.  So what if they only understood Japanese and your only phrase was "eigo ga wakadimasu ka?" (Do you understand Japanese).  It doesn't matter.  Communications is more than just words.  It is action, it is situational, and most of the communication is unspoken.  But it does start with opening the mouth.  I sincerely hope that I will reinforce this trait back in office, and ask when I don't understand, and admit when I'm lost in a discussion.

5)  Independent, and co-dependence
It was an unplanned, un-coordinated, spontaneous trip.  By myself.  I know realise that I can do this easily.  In fact, I almost thrived on traveling by myself.  There's no commitment needed, there's no waiting, there's no disappointment in others, no blame, no consensus building.  It's just me, myself, and moi. I didn't need to do all the major sight-seeing places; sitting at a cafe, or lying on the grass in the meiji-koen, was holiday enough.  Didn't need to make sure my time was out all day and all night to fully utilize my holiday:  It was meant as a trip to find myself, and I didn't need to climb the highest mountain, cross the deepest gorge to do so.  I just needed to get away from the daily grind to see above the fray.  And I did.  Even if that meant that I needed to be on my guard constantly 24/7, with heightened senses and awareness.  It WAS tiring, but I know I can do it.

On the flip side, when I met my friends, I was happy too, coz I could let down my guard and relax and enjoy their company, as much as I enjoy my solitude.  This trip was wonderful as I could perfectly balance my need for company and my need to be solo.

6)  Self-discipline
Finally, the last aspect.  This part of me, I learnt from all my nightly conversations with a dear friend online.  I have set out all the things I want to achieve, but I have been lacking the self-discipline necessary to do so.  Instead procrastination comes so easily and so frequently, as well as the tendency to absolve myself of blame when I fail, citing situations, acts of Gods, etc.  But she showed me that the missing link was from within, and that once I create that self-discipline within myself, I can achieve all that I want, and more.  This is probably the most essential and most important part of me that I treasure from this trip, and I am truly grateful to her for showing me the way.  The fight is mine and mine alone, but you have shown me how to fight.  Thank you.

I'm so glad that I made this trip.  It was truly amazing and awakening.  I am happy.  Now I can go home.