Fighting the Addiction...

If there's any addiction I really really really really (did I say REALLY) want to break this year, it's my addiction for IM, especially MSN Messenger. I have it on all day, all night, during work, when I'm home, and with my iPhone, ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE I go. Even though I don't want to talk to anyone in particular, I just keep on going back to the IM screen again and again, just checking who's on, who's off, and maintaining my linkage to reality.

It's more like "Reality", especially when I perceive it to be more real than the real world I am hanging out in. It simply doesn't make sense that I'm IM-ing online when I'm out with friends. There's a certain lack of respect for the company I'm with. I guess SMS is also not very good, but it's nowhere near as awful as IM-ing when there's company.

At work, IM impedes me from concentrating fully on the job at hand, so that every couple of minutes, I check who's online and send inane messages to people, disturbing them when THEY are trying to concentrate. I mean, it's ok if there's a purpose to the IM, but when I chat for the sake of chatting, it crosses an invisible line...

Ok, now it's November, and I realized it's one of the items on my 2009 New Year Action Plan. The past few days, I've been on leave, and I've staved away from MSN. I'm still on, invisible mostly, but I've at least succeeded in resisting the temptation to just message someone to say hi and nothing else. If there's a reason (genuine catch up after a long absence, asking colleague out for a snack, scheduling a gathering), it's ok, but not chatting for chat's sake.

And I'm going to cut down on MSN usage on weeknights as promised. In fact, it's like a drug; when going cold turkey, it's ultra painful and pointed. After a while, adaptation takes place, the lingering hunger disappears, and you realize the body doesn't need it anymore. Just like my addiction for KFC, I haven't touched it at all this year, and when I passed one today, I felt... nothing. It's incredible what the human mind can mandate the body to feel and react.

Wish me luck for the last two months, so that I can curb this addiction, instill a renewed discipline, and embrace fully the real, vibrant, analog, delicious world!

Great Living Through Gratefulness

Just read a book, Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert A Emmons. Though there's quite alot of religious overtures for a strictly theoretical discussion, it has a very interesting point: That being grateful can really increase the amount of happiness one has in life.

According to the book, people generally have a set point of happiness that's decided at birth. If you're a generally sad person, even when you win the lottery and marry the most wonderful person, pretty soon, you'll ADAPT and get back to your set point of happiness. Ditto for vice versa ;) But apparently, if you exercise gratitude, you adjust that set point of happiness higher, and STAY happier even with adaptation.

There have been many instances that instead of showing gratitude, I complain and nit-pick, "in the name of progress", so that things can be better. If somebody cooks for me, I comment on the food quality, instead of appreciating the effort spent on the food-making process. If someone provides me with assistance, I am thankful, but sometimes it's more procedural rather than sincere, and worse, I discount the effort and think that it's supposed to be part of their job.

Also, alot of people and cultures dislike practicing gratitude as it can be viewed as indebtitude. I can empathize with that concept; Some rather owe no one, and achieve independent living, than count on the favor of others. I have encountered so many people like that in the course of my life...

Anyway, I'm going to try to practice what I've read, and see how it will impact me. The best recommendation of the book is to start a gratitude journal, detailing daily of the things I'm grateful for. Going to be kinda private so won't be written here. ;)

Alrighty, I'm grateful to those who have spent the time reading my thoughts. Thanks!

In Anticipation of the Weekend Ahead

Just have to get through the next 5 days of courses before my looooong weekend starts!

First, will be heading to Redang this Friday, to try out my new mask, fins, and booties! Will test out how the fins affect my photo-taking, which is an area I have meaning to work and improve on. Should do some proper dive photo-taking tutorials and reflect on how I can improve my shots.

After coming back on Monday, I'll be whisked off Tuesday to Bali for my second holiday! A week long trip to rest, relax, and chill! It's probably my last major holiday this year, so I will take full advantage of it, and not think about work issues while I'm there. Going with my bro and his friend, so it'd be tremendous fun!

Somehow I feel better recently, with a light spirit and quick trot. I have done my best to remove my inner baggage, and live life freely. I shall now start on some of my deeply rooted habits that I've always wanted to change, knowing and believing that this time there's a real chance of success. As they say, it takes 21 days to form/break a habit, so I'll behoove myself to go on my best behaviour, and actively do the things I want to do, and avoid the things I want to avoid.

My Excuses...

1. I am too tired.

2. I have no time.

3. I am too old.

4. I have no money.

5. I am too fat.

6. I'm too used to my habits.

7. I am too lazy.

8. I am too smart/ dumb to be bothered.

9. My parents made me this way.

10. It's not my nature to do this.

11. I made a wrong decision last time, I'm stuck and I can't help it.

12. It's not my nature to do this.

13. I have failed so many times before.

14. Doing this won't help me.

15. I am afraid of failing.

16. I can't help that my memory/ hearing is bad.

17. The problem is too big for me.

18. I want to stay in my comfort zone.

It's time for me to embrace the boundaries I have created for myself, to break out, and be the person I am capable of.

:)