Watched a real heart-warming show today about a dog and the trials and tribulations a couple goes through over the years. This is obviously not a movie review, but watched it with a good friend. Am reminded of a quality I look for in a girl: Cry during sad movies.
I guess that people either look for qualities that are either similar, or complementary. It's the latter. Have lost the ability to cry. Maybe I'm hardened, or more likely, deadened, by past experiences, pains and suffering. I'm actually find it difficult to recount the last time I truly cried. Probably it was the night when I became single again. Having held up during the break-up while she broke down, when I got home, the walls came tumbling down and all the emotions swelled up...
But it happened almost a decade ago. Since then, zero, kosong, nada. Nothing gets me now. I've built up this impregnable fortress that nothing can pass. And nothing hurts me that hard. Instead of sadness, either I am emotionless, or I channel my emotions into anger and revenge...
That's why when girls cry during movies, I can feel their vulnerability, their openness to release their emotions and feelings out there, putting their hearts on a platter. It's a side that they would usually hide underneath their tough exterior. Maybe I use it as a proxy that they are not cold, heartless b***ards that I am, and stand in for the emptiness within me. Maybe their vulnerability will reveal a side of me that has been hidden away for years...
Maybe I just like to bring a packet of Kleenex for movies...
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